- Ralph Reed
- Completely clueless. You know, John Wayne, John Wayne Gacey. Easy mistake. Lexington and Concord. New Hampshire. Yeah, sounds right. Except of course they're in Massachusetts.
- Charisma. Hmm. There's too distinct senses of the word. Personality charisma is defined as "filled with attractiveness or charm." Then there's divinely conferred charisma, defined as a divinely conferred power or talent. Guess which one Ralph had in mind?
- Authentic faith testimony. "Church, meet State. State, meet Church." Saying a person is qualified to be president because of her "authentic faith testimony" is like saying Derek Jeter is qualified to be a marine biologist because he's a baseball player.
- Proven fighter for conservative values. Okay, he's right there. Those good old conservative values: cutting off funding for Planned Parenthood, because 3% of their services are abortions; eliminating the minimum wage because, well, she's stupid; wanting poor, uneducated people to support her, because she's a Republican (they don't keep track of the help they're not getting).
- Well-known. That's a qualification for being president? Steven Tyler and Michael Vick are trending right now on Yahoo!
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